• Raquel Barr

When Life Gets in the Way

I don't know if you know this about me, but when I set my mind to something , I'm all in. No excuses, make a plan, and just do it. I know I can do whatever I set my mind to and setting goals and achieving them is extremely satisfying for me. But what happens when something goes wrong? Maybe I've messed up and eaten at the wrong time, or I've eaten the wrong type of food, or (like in yesterday's case) I slept in past 5am. Through this process of challenging myself over and over again, I have realized some nuggets of truth that I wish to share with you.

1. Life can get in the way. You may "slip up" on a night out, or not get to bed early enough. You may have a terribly restless sleep with no time to recover with a glorious nap the following day. You may have children or a spouse who don't share the same night and morning schedule as you. Life can get in the way of what we hope to achieve and how we execute. THIS IS OK. There are so many factors that lay outside of our control. All we can do is take each "setback" and learn from it, re-strategize, and keep on going.

2. Guilt for "failing". We all know the feeling: you start or new routine on Monday and by Wednesday, its all gone to shite! Oftentimes feelings of guilt over failing to stick to the goal we set seriously bums us out. We wallow in our guilt and self-pity. We can feel shame and experience repetitive negative self talk. You may notice that all of these feelings and thoughts come from within us. This means that we have the ability to reframe them into more affirming and positive feelings. Instead of guilt we could express gratitude; instead of viewing the situation as a failure - it was a chance to learn and adjust. Guilt and self-pity do not have to run our lives.

3. Feeling the dismay that you can't actually do it. We have all been there, set a goal, we try and we fail. Then we start thinking we can't do it, it's impossible, so we give up and move on. It all happens SO FAST. I once had a teacher tell me to try something at least 7 times before moving on from a goal or challenge. Trying something 7 times allows for changes to be made, allows for a longer window of time where you give YOURSELF more chances to get it right. 7 chances is more likely to lead to success compared to quitting after 1 or 2 failed attempts. You can do it. Remind yourself why you started and that you value yourself and your goal enough to keep on trying.

(Side note: my husband regularly accuses me of being a walking motivational speaker!)

Nothing will ever be perfect.

"To err is human, to forgive, divine." That forgiveness should not exclusively be reserved for others in your life. It should also be shared generously within yourself. We will always make mistakes and misteps. This is the struggle of life; the human spirit within all of us that is continuously growing and changing. Often through making goals for ourselves we are changing the course of who are into someone we want to be. This is an inherently difficult thing to do! Try your best, learn from failure, and get back up and try again.

Maybe you are wondering what brought this on? Yesterday morning, I did not wake up at 5am. I had a long week of 4am starts, and 9pm finishes at both of my jobs. And I will be honest, I was worn completely out. Instead of viewing yesterday's sleep in as a failure, I decided to be kind to myself. Life and work temporarily got in the way of my plans and goals. To put it simply, my body needed more rest. I never felt like I "failed" even though my personal challenge was to wake up at 5am for 66 consecutive days and now I'm "down" one. But that isn't where I'm choosing to focus; I'm choosing to be kind to myself, think about why this happened, strategize how to fix it in the future. Also, I have been waking up at 5am for 18 days! That is an incredible accomplishment for me and I choose to focus on that instead to help me push forward.

Nobody and nothing is perfect all the time. You and I don't have to be. We just have to keep trying to be who we want to be. We will keep trying, failing, and learning until we reach our goals.

#welcometowellness #5amclub #lifechallenges #ownyourmorning #elevateyourlife #holisticnutritionist #nobodyisperfect #lifeiscomplicated #noguilt #noshame #startagain #donotgiveup #goals #nofailure #onlylearning

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